You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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