I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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