Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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