im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
