Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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