I think my vagina is haunted
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
