Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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