What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
ttyl tear gas
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
