Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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