I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
