I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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