Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
