this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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