and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
