Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize