I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
