I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
