just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
