I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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