I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
PANTIES FOUND
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
