im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
barbara walters just said penis...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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