We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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