i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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