WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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