Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he laminated a picture of his dick.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
