My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
