Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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