The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
