Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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