If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
