Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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