Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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