so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
porn star boner night. come get it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
