okay pat passed out under dana's car
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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