My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
