ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
