i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
