On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
