grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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