i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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