I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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