Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
