belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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