i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
