Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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