Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
