i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Buhtt sex?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
