remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
