hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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