so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
how does that bad decision feel?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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