You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
