oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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