your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up under a house in Key West
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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